When I decided to take an experimental approach to art a few months ago, my first experiment was taking me back to 3D modelling. I’m saying “back to,” because it wasn’t my first time. Or second. Or even third.
3D has been my secret love for years, if not decades, yet I’ve never really learned it properly. But sometime in the early 2020s, I decided to give it a real shot.
First, like many other beginners in 3D, I jumped into Blender. I completed a few tutorials, had an awesome time, wanted to model a million times more complicated things than what I actually had the skills for, but I guess that happens to everyone in all forms of art in those early days.
Then I took a number of courses, went through a long and deep course in Maya from modelling to animation, learned a lot of ZBrush and loved every minute of it, even dabbled in Unreal Engine much sooner than I probably should have, but enjoyed the challenge.
Then I realised that I missed drawing and painting terribly and switched over to 2D, only to realise that I didn’t touch 3D for two or so years.
Of course, my student licences to all the expensive software had already expired. (RIP ZBrush, I’ll forever miss you!) Everything I learned about Blender was long forgotten; not to mention that it jumped like two versions since.
I did a few more tutorials in Blender to refresh my shortcut memory but didn’t get too far. So that was the state where I decided to treat my artistic interests as experiments.
Six Weeks in Blender Once Again
I set a six-week goal and tried to approach 3D differently: what if I created a small, simple piece of art each week? Would 3D then give me the same level of satisfaction as painting and drawing does?
I found myself a set of amazing tutorials: Polygon Runway on YouTube has dozens of them. They are simple and easy to follow for anyone with a little Blender experience. And I dove in.
I got bored in three weeks. Yet, I pushed through, managed to complete five pieces, and was ready to leave the whole thing behind. Because modelling simple low-poly stuff didn’t feel like the kind of art I wanted to be making. I blamed it on the medium and moved on to my next experiment.
Now, I’ve been through a few of these, and not at all surprisingly, 3D still didn’t let me go.
Tutorial Hell
About three weeks ago, I decided to give it another try: let’s follow a tutorial for a more complex environment art project, beginning to end in six weeks.
After three weeks, guess what? I’m bored of it.
And this is where I realised what happened: I’ve ended up in tutorial hell. I don’t enjoy the art I’m making, because what I’m making is never my art.
When it comes to professional 3D work, there’s a lot of advice around not making your own concepts. But the reason I wanted to learn 3D is to help me make my own concepts. And even if I followed an existing concept art, I want to be the one turning it into 3D, in my way.
I’m not bored of creating with 3D; I’m bored of watching some dude creating art in 3D, then copying his steps.
Breaking Free
Does it mean I’ll ditch my plan once again halfway through a project? Maybe.
Because today I gave myself permission to start creating something that’s my idea. It’s not special or unique in any way, but it’s not a tutorial, or even something I’ve seen a million examples of—at least not in 3D. It is mine.
And working on my own idea, trying to figure out a composition, puzzling over how to block it out, made me realise that I am not bored of 3D at all.
I still feel like a complete beginner. But maybe, just maybe, I’ve outgrown the phase where I’m following tutorial after tutorial infinitely.
Where I Am Now
Does it feel the same as having a pen or brush in my hand? Not at all.
But is there joy and curiosity and challenge in it that keeps me glued to the screen until I solve it? Definitely.
It just has to be me solving the problems. And if I can’t, I can research it and find my way that way. Not through an end-to-end tutorial.
It is time to step into the world of 3D all on my own.
If you’re stuck in tutorial hell too, maybe it’s time to give yourself permission to make something that’s truly yours.